Weighs On Your Mind

Maserati and Carlos Rios conduct a science experiment in the first part of this scene. The goal is to see what common object is the closest in weight to Maserati's MLBs (major-league breasts).

"I get this question all the time," says Maserati. "How much do your boobs weigh, Maserati?"

"I don't know! So we've got a scale."

After they weigh some items, Maserati will weigh her melons and we'll see the results. First, they weigh a stapler. Not even close, in our opinion. Then a thick book, an electronic unit and a two-liter bottle of soda. Now...Maserati will weigh her boobs, one at a time.

Maserati's right breast comes in at seven pounds, two pounds more than the soda bottle. Her left breast, which Maserati already knows is heavier, weighs 7.5 pounds. Weighing both at the same moment is trickier because the scale's weighing platform is not wide enough and there's boob spillage on each end.

With their science experiment over, the two researchers conduct another experiment. This one… Read More »